For the past several years, there was a person in my life who was a constant. Someone I cared about a lot, who seemed to care about me. But something changed. A switch was flipped. My heart was broken. Since we live on opposite coasts, I’ve been doing my best to let him have his distance. But it’s been…painful.
It’s depressing when you know that person that you still want to spend time with is spending time with someone else and who knows - may be in love with someone else already. It’s hard to remind yourself that you shouldn’t be thinking about someone who almost certainly never thinks of you. It’s saddening to think that you might never see that person again when you were so close to them for years and actually thought of them as your best friend and most trusted confidant. It’s bittersweet to have great memories with someone and know that there could’ve - would’ve - been more, but there aren’t going to be any more chances to create more memories together. It’s awful to feel like you were kept in the wings for years for no reason other than for someone else’s use and subsequent unceremonious disposal. And then there’s that terrible feeling of simultaneously hating someone for no other reason than that you still love them.
"I hate being awake."
- the first thing I said (to no one) as soon as my alarm went off
I just walked into my living room and had an earth-shattering burp
And I heard someone outside exclaim, “Wow!” and I could tell it was in response to my burp and my response was not to feel ashamed but instead a sense of pride washed over me
"But I remember singing ‘put a lady in the street and put a freak in the band!’"
- my sister, on incorrectly singing Usher’s “Yeah” and defending the fact that when she was 10 I made her a mix cd with that song on there because she wanted it and I was irresponsible and I didn’t think twice about it
While packing, I kept finding change, so I kept a plastic bag next to me and would just toss in my change as I went along (I also found a Tupperware full of change. Whoops).
At the end of the day, I took the change to coinstar.
1. This shows how of little use coins are to me these days. Once they start to get heavy, I just toss them aside into a dish and that apparently really adds up. 2. It seemed a little weird that there was no option to just donate that 9 cents. It kind of defeats the purpose of me putting all my coins in if you give me coins back.
1. There is a ping pong table out on the quad outside my office and it just warms my heart to see things like a man in a sharp suit playing ping pong with a man clearly hard up on his luck. Ping pong unites people.
2. Why don’t people do OOTN posts? A hoodie, some shorts, and some slippers. Owning.it.
3. I could go to sleep now. At 9:09 p.m. I am going to shoot for 10. High aspirations.
OF COURSE my washing machine would burn up, stop working, and send the scent of burnt rubber throughout the house two weeks before I’m due to get out of this place.
Question: Does anyone have a Nest thermostat (or any other “smart” thermostat)? I’m trying to decide if putting one in my new place would be worthwhile, so I’d appreciate hearing any firsthand experiences. Has it saved you money? Do you like it? Was it hard to set up?
Packing and finally going through boxes of stuff that traveled cross-country with me when I moved but probably shouldn’t have.
In preparation for my end-of-month move to my new house (I try not to get excited about real estate deals until closing because I do this all the time for work - but…!!!!!!!!!!!!!), I was doing some much-needed going through my basement to determine what would make the cut in the move and what wouldn’t, and found an old file filled with cards from my best friends, cards and drawings from my little sister from when she was a kid, and cards and letters from my great-grandmother and great aunt, neither of whom are alive any longer. I couldn’t part with them.
What I COULD part with were the many love letters from my college boyfriend (we corresponded by letter often because he moved to Oregon after he graduated college and I still had two years left of college at that point and wireless was not readily available at that point so if you wanted to send e-mails you had to be plugged in. The grand days of the ethernet cable). I re-read all of them, and even though they were nice, it reaffirmed that I did the right thing in breaking up with him. I threw them away. Frankly, I’m surprised I still had them. So weird how with that relationship I was able to let go so quickly and cleanly…but with my grad school boyfriend I have struggled with letting go for years.
There was also a granola bar in there. The Quaker Chewy bars seem to have received a label upgrade since the early aughts. (Didn’t eat it. Did consider it though.)
No idea what I’m even really saying here. It was just strange paging through the chapters of my life again.